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[quote=Anonymous]I am not quite a SAHM but work very part time (less than 15 hours a week while kid is in school) and am the primary parent. Here is what my DH does:

- Packs lunch and does school run two days a week when he is WFH. I help kid get ready on those days so DH can work during that time (which gives him leeway to do the school run). On other days DH leaves before kid is up and I do it all solo for both morning and evening.

- Takes DC to swimming one evening a week and is in charge of everything associated with that activity -- that DC has the right gear, talking to instructors and school about progress or issues, ensuring DC showers afterwards, etc.

- Helps with homework a couple nights a week.

- Attends all performances/competitions and all parent-teacher conferences.

- Is home solo with DC a few nights a month when I go to a class, work, or meet with friends.

- Will take DC on an outing on the weekends if I have extra work (I freelance and set my own schedule but do have deadlines so this happens about once a month). Otherwise we do outings together as a family though DH and I will also give each other breaks if we need it.

I handle all sick days, arrange all childcare including summer camps, schedule and budget for all activities, book all doctors and dentist appointments and usually take DC to these (occasionally DH will do the actual appointment and he does know all DC's doctors and dentist by name and is up to date on all issues), do all clothes and shoe shopping, book almost all playdates (occasionally the dads will communicate about a dad and kid outing and they handle that), and handle the bulk of family administrative, budgeting, and logistic planning (vacations, 529, birthday parties, buying appropriate furniture like a bigger bed, etc.).

The most important thing is that DC feels supported and loved by both parents and comes to both of us with problems and trusts us both. DC definitely comes to me more at this point and I perform more of an emotional support role (and am better suited to that) but we constantly work on this and really emphasize 1:1 between DH and DC and developing strong communication and a strong bond. They have stuff they only do together that I am not involved in, they have inside jokes, they have a unique dynamic that doesn't need to be mediated or pushed by me. And that's what I think matters. I didn't have any of that with my dad as a kid and I believe it has been very detrimental to me as an adult. So this is something we've really focused on and I think we've done a good job. It was definitely something I worried about when I decided to quit my full time job, but I think it's worked out really well.[/quote]

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