Reply to Nowhere for child to sit at birthday party/bullying issues.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it probably felt worse to you than it was.  I can sympathize.  But take comfort that most people probably didn't notice much.  I think the suggestions to just take your son for fresh air if you sense he is breaking down is a good one.

I greatly dislike the responses from PPs saying mean things about your son.  He is five.  Anyone who has called him a wimp or given the "buck up" line is an asshat.  That whole attitude is why so many of the other boys are crazed lunatics.  How about those parents try to raise better boys who aren't so out of control.  I'm tired of the boys will be boys crap excuse for boys behaving badly.[/quote]

All this. Plus, 5 is a hard age. 6 can be, too. They aren't in preschool anymore but they are still little and there's very uneven development. In my experience (a boy and girl), 7 is where things even out, at least until late elementary/middle school.

My boy, who is generally very outgoing and has a large group of friends, was a mess at birthday parties when he was 5. I recall one at someone's house where most of the other parents dropped off and he refused to let me go. Some parents did stay so I did, too, but he spent the whole time glued to my side and would not play at all. The host was lovely and tried to engage him but he just wouldn't do anything. We stayed anyway as I felt it would have been more rude to leave, and he wasn't having a tantrum, just sitting on the side watching. We spent a lot of time in those years coaching him to be flexible (he's always had a tendency toward rule-following and rigidity) and he's pretty good now at 11, still needs occasional reminders but is very socially adept, appropriately independent, and - I hope - well-behaved. He has always been very active and physically daring but not a rough and tumble boy. He gets along with those boys but he himself isn't into tackling people and that is fine with me. Not enjoying having someone jump all over you doesn't make someone a wimp.

And by the way, OP, if these are the kids in your son's class, I'd second the idea of looking at a different school. I went to a private school and the parents were a**hats and a fair percentage of kids grew up to be rich, entitled a**hats also. My parent taught at the school - which is why I went there, faculty kids got free tuition - and it was very evident to me that a lot of kids thought teachers were "the help" and looked down on "the help."  A fair number of the parents around here whom i've met, who send their kids to private school, are competitive a**hats and exactly the type to call a little kid a wimp. We have been very happy with the social environment of public school. Something you might wish to consider. Public school or a more nurturing private. Don't send your son to Landon or equivalent![/quote]

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