Reply to That “done” feeling- how long can it last?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t understand this. How can you be done and have a “good life” with him. Are you faking it?[/quote]

Not quite faking it.  But my feelings about The Marriage don’t take a ton of my mental space unless I purposely think about it.  We have kids, friends, work, hobbies.  And I’m actually pretty ok with him most of the time.  I think I could plod along like this indefinitely.

When I stop and contemplate my life and what I really want in my future, that’s when things hit a snag.  In my mind I have a picture of my future, and he’s not in it.  I feel this incredibly deeply, like in my bones.  I read about people getting over a “rough patch” in the marriage and I have this weird negative visceral reaction.  I don’t know if that makes sense.[/quote]

Marriage is tough, it's not a fairytale.  Perhaps you're thinking everything should be happy happy 24/7.  It's not.  Did you ever consider why your spouse is unhappy?  This is the one question so many spouses never ask.  Why?  Why is my spouse unhappy.  Then if they ask it they never really want to hear the reason.  They use it as a weapon against their spouse.  And then the snowball effect comes into play because neither spouse gets what they want or need.[/quote]

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