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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My dad has Parkinson's and my mom has dementia.

Your mom may have early dementia.

I think the accommodations you are suggesting sound reasonable. But your mom's theory that mobility aids can enable decline is not outlandish. Not for the basic things you suggested like shower grab bars (I think every shower should have that frankly). But we made the mistake of getting my dad a wheelchair and then his caregivers just left him in it all day long and it disabled him rapidly. You do need to be careful because it is a fine balance. It is good to keep doing things for yourself as long as you can. use it or lose it, ya know?[/quote]

I have posted before and this is true as well. It really is a compromise, but there is where the specialist comes in. OP, I endured so much vitriol pushing to get an outside expert involved. My stomach is in knots just thinking about the drama and insults, but it made a difference. She works with that balance. I prefer total safety, but that is not we have. What do have now is team of people and a woman who knows how to win over challenging elderly folks, make them feel listened to and empowered while also pushing for a safer situation. I'm not going to lie. My mother hated me and still has resentment, but she has a nice relationship with the aging professional and will listen to her. I am willing to step back if I think more is needed because this woman has the proper training to assess and I don't. I have needed to accept being the bad child to ensure a better situation. Also, if you can afford to hire the aging professional to assess monthly or every few months and coordinate care as needed it gives you some piece of mind and take you out of the dramatics. [/quote]

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