Reply to He’s not a breadwinner

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Does he provide you with emotional support, is a good partner etc.. I have a very disorganized SAHD spouse and with outsourcing tasks like cleaning, nanny when kids were babies,  we have a very happy home and I am able to succeed way beyond what I could do if he worked.  [/quote]

OP here. He is very emotionally supportive. He is a good partner to me in that he treats me well, is romantic, very considerate, a good lover, cheers me on in my career, and cooks lavish meals for me regularly.

I definitely think we’d have to outsource cleaning for my sanity.[/quote]

OP no. No no no. He doesn't clean and that's a huge red flag. Because kids make such a mess and you can't have a cleaning service every day. The "lavish" meals are a form of entertainment. You're going to need someone who can knock out a dinner that's reasonably healthy, that the kids will eat, with only whatever's in the fridge and in under 30 minutes. That's the kind of person you want to raise kids with. Think practical. Not someone who spends hours and hours and hours cooking dinner, meaning that you're on kid duty, when you have a ton of other stuff that needs to get done.

Consider what someone said before-- that he's only so considerate and romantic and cooks etc. because he has extra bandwidth from his low-effort career. When he loses a lot of that bandwidth to parenting, how will he behave? And when you also have way less time and energy, how will you feel about his lack of motivation then?[/quote]

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