Reply to The patents of my DD’s boyfriend

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "The patents of my DD’s boyfriend"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The OP is not talking about being a kind and welcoming parent, she is talking about a potential MIL who offers monetary gifts like vacations bait. Not a visit our beach house for the weekend, but a European vacation.  I asked the OP if her DD declined an invitation, how does the parent react? Would they keep pushing, do they get their DS to reinforce?  What comes off as nice, has an undercurrent of control.

Where are the posters who have MIL’s who lay great guilt on their son and DIL’s time even though the DIL has a family of their own? It started at some point and you let it slide. [/quote]

No, this is what op wrote: "Just now one year. He is a student. But for months they have wanted her there for all holidays, join family vacations , give gifts, etc"

I do this with my ds's girlfriend and her family does this with him too. Everyone is very mindful of the other family: She came to our Christmas, and ds went to hers. And ds got a gift from her parents, and vice versa. I really don't see what the problem is here. She's also coming to Europe with us to visit extended family, and then ds is going to her parents' country (also Europe). This is how our family has always done things. In my brother's case it was several girlfriends over the years until he got married. It is being kind and inclusive. I have a distant mil and I don't want to be that way playing games of "will I ever be in her good graces?". I want to always be nice, no matter what the outcome is. It's perfectly fine (obviously!) if they don't get married, but in the present, what is the harm in including her? And I also don't see how it relates to career choices at all. If anything, a stable relationship is a lot better for concentrating on work than constant dating.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics