Reply to S/O - Why does DCUM hate this kind of woman so much?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This site is full of hypocrisy OP, I've stopped trying to make sense of it.   There are posts after posts about how evil men are and misogyny and yet there are posts after posts of women being vile to each other.

The people who judge someone because of how they dress or what they look like are insecure nitwits.   For whatever reason, the stereotypical wealthy soccer mom seems to set people off the most.  I mean just look at 1622, it's still a dig at people who wear a tennis bracelet and pp is trying to be all "I'm not like other girls".

[b]I have no dog in this fight.  I don't own any of the things mentioned. I just find it ridiculous how grown adult women behave on this site. [/b] [/quote]

I'm the PP above you, and I don't disagree with any of this. I just believe it is understandable.

I'm myself "not like other girls," but that's not a cool thing. I'm socially awkward, probably ASD adjacent, have very niche skills, and built a life for myself around work and specific interests. It's fine. I like it. It works for me, but it's not cool or enviable. It's just the space where I can do best for myself -- I couldn't climb that particular ladder if I dedicated my life to it. [/quote]

Pp here.  It sounds like you're comfortable with who you are and that's great.  [b]But do you judge the women who do wear designer things and are outgoing and bubbly and the things that you say you're not? [1]   Do you assume they are trying to climb a particular ladder or that they are shallow or vein?  [2] [/b] Or do you just figure that they, like you , are just being themselves and who they want to be.   I'm not talking personality wise, I'm just talking first impressions when you see someone like that in a group setting.   I think that's the difference between you who just owns that you're not like them and the pp who is all "lol I don't even KNOW what a tennis bracelet is.  I play sports!   I'm not like those vapid women!".  [/quote]

1. I don't think so. I *do* very vividly remember (and with much affection) the beautiful former cheerleader I spent a month of call shifts with in the ER as medical students. She was hilarious, and kind, and sharp as a tack. I wasn't as secure in myself back then and assumed she wouldn't vibe with me, but we got on like a house afire. Since then, I think I make a lot fewer assumptions.

2. Here is where we may part. If you do this look well, it really is work (as another PP said). It's commitment. I think that has to say you value knowing and abiding by the (mostly unspoken) rules if you do it well, and I'm not sure that doesn't say something about you. It may not say anything bd, but it does speak to what you value, and what you are willing to give up for it. That doesn't mean we can't be friends, but I'm pretty sure the odds are lower.

But no, I'm not going to go with shallow or vain necessarily -- I've known plenty of women who felt they had to do these things very well in order not to be judged and to fit in. Frankly, I'm not likely the friend you want if you want to fit into that schema enough to try that hard -- I would not be an asset. :) And that's okay. We are doing different things. But that sort of judgment? yes, it is there for me, for what it's worth. [/quote]

This is all well said.  [/quote]

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