Reply to As an Atheist, what do you tell your little kids?

Forum Index » Religion

Reply to "As an Atheist, what do you tell your little kids?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m an atheist but I want my kids (5 and 2.5) to feel comforted, like there’s something else out there watching over them whenever they’re scared or sad. And I want them to be comforted when someone dies.

I love the idea of heaven, and have told them our dog went to heaven when she died. I’m treating heaven like Santa (which should buy me some time). Instead of praying before bed or a meal, my son and I sometimes list all the things we’re grateful for in this life (health, modern medicine, cookies, toys, our house, family, friends, school, etc).

By way of background, I was raised Catholic - baptized, communion, confirmation, and church every Sunday. My two siblings are also religious. Then there’s me…I could never get into it, thought it was boring and difficult to understand, disliked all of the contradictions and HATED the whole “you’re a sinner and damned if you do/don’t do abc/xyz…go to church, have sex before marriage, are gay, etc). I will admit, however, that when I’ve been in very scary situations, I’ve asked “God” to keep me safe which made me feel better in the moment.  My parents told me things would change once I had kids and “I’d come back to the church.” Well, that obviously hasn’t happened. I never baptized my kids, nor do we belong or go to a church.  As far as Christianity, I believe Jesus was probably a great guy and/or an excellent politician. I don’t believe in the immaculate conception or any of those other stories (turning water into wine, etc.)).  I just can’t deal with all of the BS that goes with Christianity or any other religion.

I love the idea of a “higher-power” -  perhaps I can call it an energy? Love the cosmos and science behind it all. So what do you call this? Being spiritual? How do other people handle these situations with kids? Should I call it God, a spirit, energy, or something else?

If you’re an atheist, what do you tell your little kids when you want them to feel like a higher power or energy is watching over them? [/quote]

So, I'll agree with other posters - I think this is something that, because of how you were raised, you took comfort in, because you were taught to, but those who are raised outside religion often find that's not really necessary (and often, when seen outside the lens of religion, this is really a creepy concept.)

In the situation where someone dies, for example, I tell my little kids that they are "all gone" to help them understand. I explain it's okay to be sad, and it's okay to miss them, and we can take comfort in remembering the good times we had with them.

[quote]My parents, on the other hand, routinely give my kids religious tokens that they get for free in the mail (think a cross with Jesus, prayer cards, picture of Pope, etc.). They pray before every meal, and my son looks at me like “WTF are they doing?” They also asked me why I didn’t set up the Christmas nativity set they gave me. Ughh. I’m wondering how to explain this all to my son while still being respectful to my parents and siblings. [/quote]

As the kids get old enough, I explain that there are a lot of people who believe in a god. *We* know that gods aren't real, but some people take comfort in believing they are real, just like a friend might have fun with/take comfort in having a make believe invisible friend. It's ok for people to believe in gods as long as they're not hurting us, so even though we know it's not real, we shouldn't tell our friends that the god they believe in isn't real. (Not only is this a kindness thing, but even in the liberal DC area, this is a survival skill.)

As for the parents angle, that can be tough. I would be very uncomfortable if gifts like that were coming to my kids, but I'd try to remind myself, especially if someone didn't know about my atheism, that the givers are just making an assumption and that they're coming from a kind place. I might tell them, hey, I appreciate the thought, but our family is not Christian, so I would appreciate it if the gifts of a religious nature stopped being given to my kids.

If you really can't have that conversation with your family, you can do things like censor the mail (throw the gifts away before the kids see them) but that can be risky. You can also try to limit contact, but at the end of the day, I would always vote to have the conversation if push came to shove (instead of silently letting family give and kids receive those types of gifts.)

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics