Reply to Why do parents punish the more successful children?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because the parents want to feel needed. This is my MIL. She has a very close relationship with BIL’s children and has only met our children a handful of times. BIL and SIL have lived with her on and off and on over the time they have been married. We are self sufficient.[/quote]

This. So much of the rescuing, enabling, etc. stems from the parents wanting to feel needed. It’s like raising a child all over again but getting to skip the diapers and toddler years. The needy adult child keeps them busy and loved. The needy adult child becomes their hobby, their excuse, and their validation. It is a cycle.[/quote]

No, they just don't want to see them fail. They worry about what will happen if they stop. So the keep doing it. They want to avoid homelessness, drugs, or other worst case scenarios. It's desperation not because they need a hobby. Wait until you have a kid like this and see if you coldly turn your back.[/quote]

I’m one of many kids. I wish my parents spent more time “coddling” the neediest sib. Instead they sent him away at 13 to be raised by relatives.

In my family the disparate treatment was more based on age than need. The younger cohort got babied. [/quote]

That's how it always is. But most of these complaints are from siblings who feel slighted. I wonder how those siblings who are now parents themselves, plan to handle their own needy kids. Thinking you're a perfect parent doesn't guarantee perfect children. What will it be: boarding school? Neglect? Kick out of the house? Cut off? [/quote]

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