Reply to How did you decide between your DC's top choices?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When DS applied to schools, we told him not to apply anywhere that he can't be happy. He wants a larger school, preferably a strong state flagship, so it was pretty easy to take a tiered approach where he is extremely likely to get into 3 or four schools. 
[b]The only mistake we made was encouraging him to apply to a private without fully considering the cost- which is outrageous (and considering how much college costs these days, that's saying something). We told him if that comes through it's a "no"[/b]- we're not permitting student loan debt, we plan to retire before we work ourselves to death, and his 529 won't cover all four years. Fortunately, he's a reasonable kid with only a small drop of entitlement, so he complained and moved on. [/quote]

Why would you let your DC apply and tell them “if that comes through it is a no”? What a waste of time and resources. NPC is very accurate, so no reason to be surprised by the cost of attendance. [/quote]

pp here- as mentioned, it was an error on our part. We hadn't fully considered all of the costs - if he gets a lot of merit, it's back on the table-- but as it stands, no. Also, note my first sentence- he should apply only to colleges where he can be happy. Assuming he did that, and I believe he did since he's thrilled with the acceptances he's had so far, he's not going to perish from disappointment if we have to take the 6 figure a year college off the list. He's not a spoiled toddler- he's a sensible eighteen year old young man.

Also, I don't understand how parents seem to feel they have no voice if they're footing most of the bill? I see this as a collaborative decision-- quality, fit, and resources. [/quote]

This. Unless kid has direct access to hundreds of thousands of dollars,  parents (or whomever is paying) technically have the final say. Not to say you wouldn’t work with kid to find good fit, programs etc … but most families have at least some parameters.

My guess is a lot of these kids have never been told no. The poster that wouldn’t “dare tell kid where to go to college”. Um, you’re the parent. You get to make gigantic financial decisions for your 17 year old if you want. 
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