Reply to Was not intending to date yet, but met someone. WWYD?

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Reply to "Was not intending to date yet, but met someone. WWYD?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How soon will the divorce be finalized? I didn't date until I was divorced because until then I was married albeit separated. It was just a morality issue for me. [/quote]

Op here and I'm feeling twinges of this too which makes me feel stupid considering he had a full fledged girlfriend for several years of our marriage. I'm assuming it will be a 6-9 month process to officially be divorced.[/quote]
Don’t let a technicality stand in the way of your future happiness.[/quote]

I also would give you a pass since your husband cheated and you know you won't reconcile.  There is no marriage left to save.  He broke the vows and forgiveness/amends are not part of your mutual plan so it's de facto over.

I would however keep this private from everyone.  Let it be its own relationship first.  It will either flourish or wither 1:1.  That will be optically and logistically easiest.

Also for the record, [b][color=red]I'm tired of hearing betrayed mothers of young children say their cheating spouses are good dads.  They might be kind to the kids when present but betraying and destabilizing a mother of young children automatically removes a man from "good dad" status in my eyes.  A person that self-indulgent is likely to let a kid down as well.  Even if they pack lunches and play catch and know the teachers' names. [/color][/quote]
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-1 You can be a cheating spouse.  You can be a good dad.  Both can be true.

It can also be true that the previous poster judges who is a good dad and reclaims that title from each man.  It can also be true that I can make my own decision of who is a good dad.  Both can be true.[/quote]

I suggest that OP negotiates that her exH pays for kids college. Think really hard about it, OP!  dating the new guy is cool but right now you should make practical matters like that a priority

Cheating fathers usually offload  any financial obligations towards kids right after HS graduation [/quote]

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