Reply to How to support friend who found out her partner is cheating?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks all! They are not married but do have children. I’ll be sure not to offer advice and just be a good listener. I certainly would never badmouth her partner, but I do tend to share my opinion on things so I will be extra mindful of that. Love the idea of providing distractions for her as appropriate.

[b]To the PP who said she may distance herself from me if she decides to stay, I will keep that in mind. I hope she knows that I would never judge her for staying or leaving, but it is good to be aware of any possible outcome[/b]. I just want to support her as best as I can in this season! [/quote]

One of the kindest things a good friend said to me was “If you ever decide it’s in your best interest to forgive him, I will never judge you for it.”  It’s worth saying some version of that out loud for her to hear.

You’re a good friend.  She’s lucky to have you.[/quote]

OP here. This is fantastic advice. Thank you. I will absolutely say this out loud to her when it’s the right time. Thank you, thank you! [/quote]

Ick. I would not have wanted a friend to say that to me - it's low key sending the message that staying and forgiving is the right thing to do. My ex's cheating was bananas - so bananas that I couldn't even tell my friends all of it. If she'd said this to me, I would have felt gross - pushed into staying with someone who was slimy. Ick. Ick. Ick. I'm so grateful that my friends and family supported my ending the relationship. [/quote]

I’m the PP who said it – it definitely wasn’t any kind of encouragement to stay.  No way, no how.  My friend would have put a hit on him if she could and is my day to day biggest champion, propping me up when I don’t think I can take one more thing because we are still in the divorce process and he’s a total POS.  It was more of a “I’m your friend and will support you no matter what, even though I wish he would just die already.”  Maybe that’s a more universal way to put it.   :lol:  [/quote]

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