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Reply to "How to raise two “failure to launch” adult children? "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As someone with a kid with severe mental illness who struggles to maintain employment, can someone tell me how you "require" them to get a job? When my kid got fired because delusions made him act in unexpected ways at work, or when he doesn't get hired in the first place because the executive functioning deficits that come with the medication he needs to keep hallucinations at bay were obvious in the interview, how do I just "require" a different outcome? [/quote] I think if you are talking about a kid with delusions or such severe deficits, you can't approach the same way. I think there are a spectrum of issues that lead to this kind of problem and you can't approach them all the same. Which is why judgment and "why don't you just do X?" like in the OP isn't that helpful. Every situation is different. That said, I do think there are probably things to learn from OP's experience because IF a kid has the mental health and executive functioning to respond well to therapy and being forced to work, then they should get that! I think it's like a baseline and might be a good place to start if you have a kid who is sliding off of an independent track. Like therapy seems like a no brainer -- you've got to be in treatment. And then see if you can find some kind of job that they can go and do and be consistent and use it to develop a sense of self-reliance and confidence. If they can't, well then you know and you're going to have to pivot. But it's worth it to start there. I would guess, PP, that you've already been down that road and are doing your best. And I give you kudos. Severe mental illness is so hard for the caregivers and you've been doing it a long time for this adult child. You have no reason to feel bad or guilty. But if there was a way for your kid to work, you'd probably want that, right? I think that's the takeaway and it's worth reinforcing it because it really can help some kids get back on track. Not everyone, but for the ones who can be helped, they need it. It's like medication. Does it work for everyone? No. But it's worth trying just in case it might.[/quote]
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