Reply to if you're a "no divorce expect with abuse / cheating" person

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Reply to "if you're a "no divorce expect with abuse / cheating" person - what would you do in this situation"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Can you outsource a ton of things? It seems to me that a benefit to remaining married is that you have access to his paycheck. So use it. [/quote]

This. Get a nanny (or two) to help out so you can have down time. It’s really OK.

I know it sucks, OP. And I know you’re doing it all. And it is completely unfair. But based on what you have written, divorcing and coparenting with this man will be a nightmare.[/quote]

I keep coming back to that - it makes me sick to think what I put up with (the lashing out when he's angry, the picking up after another adult, the having my "partner" sit around and not lift a finger to help his family while I struggle to meet everyone's needs) but I think the uncertainty of what he'd do in divorce and the potential impact on the kids is a huge huge risk.  I really wish I could just emotionally except the situation any not carry around so much anger about it in the moment when i'm trying to calm 2 kids and make dinner while he sits there, or i'm getting up at 6 for the millionth weekend morning while he gets to sleep in 2 weekend mornings every single weekend, or while i'm picking up his laundry all over our room so I can have a clean tidy background.  A therapist once said "you can't force yourself to accept things that are unacceptable" but the potential divorce outcomes also feel unacceptable so i've got to find a way to make peace with one of the options[/quote]

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