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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He contributes, makes more, works more, but refuses to enter into concrete agreements with you to precisely define his contributions and you think he’s the problem?[/quote]

well yes - when he gets roughly 30 hours of leisure time a week while i'm drowning working from 6am - 830pm 7 days a week between our kids, job and home and doing all overnight wake ups (because he "can't cope" with a night of poor sleep but i'm supposed to cope with years of it) and he has no interest in trying to solve that in any way and plays video games on his phone while watching me struggling and saying its because of his mental health while handling his hobbies and job just fine.....he's a major factor of the problem

at this point i'd be ok with him saying "I can parent for 3 hours each weekend day from 10-1 and need the other 12 hours for leisure time on sat / sun" or "i can't cope with the kids but will handle meals on weekends even if its takeout" or even "i'll find the housekeeper to do my laundry" or "i won't take the adhd parenting class but i'll talk to you about what you learned for 30 minutes without having a big reaction".  I'm not asking for even workload or close to it (i gave up on that long ago), I'm asking for some degree of dependable and partnership in meeting our family's needs[/quote]

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