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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There is no magic formula other than being caring and involved parents. [/quote]

While no "magic formula" I do think expecting your kids to do more and more responsibilities as they grow up helps with being a "fully launched adult" come age 22 (end of college).  The amount of kids who hit college and have never done a load of laundry is astounding.

We gave our kids more and more responsibilities over time.  By age 16 we would leave for the weekend (only once in a while) with the 16 yo in charge of the 12 yo and themselves for 1-2 days.  They had a CC and were trustworthy (and friends were nearby to assist if needed).  Basically we trusted them and let them have more responsibilities as long as they didn't do something stupid. SO by time they go to college, they have been in charge of a lot.  We wanted them to make their mistakes while still at home, with some guidance (and there were some mistakes, but nothing major).

Whereas I have other parents who won't leave their 17 yo home alone for a night, because they "don't trust them".  Which to me is a bit scary
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Sounds like this was a smart move[/quote]

Yes, it definately is.  Giving your kids more responsibilities over time, rather than just sending them off to college and expecting them to figure it out (when there are no guardrails really) is not the best idea.  In reality, we started even younger.  when the oldest was 12/13 (youngest was 8/9) we left them for 1-2 nights, with pizza money, food to cook/heat up, and the ability to bike/walk to mini-mart(this was pre UberEats) and adults in the neighborhood to help if needed (and we were only 1 hour away).  Our kids did fine---knew which friends could know they were "home alone" and which could not.  It gave the oldest a huge sense of accomplishment---they did fine, and helped them mature.  Now obviously you don't do that if you don't trust them/they are not ready.  But it goes a long way to developing maturity in kids if you just let them have more responsibilities.

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