Reply to Weird gift situation - think I offended MIL

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If anything, your MIL is rude. She could have ordered the leggings and added 1/2 of extra of the items she usually buys (you said leggings were costing 1/2 of what she usually does). [/quote]

I think sending a link of the exact style, color and size of a very specific item is rude. The gift giving becomes so transactional at that point. Like families who exchange $50 gift cards to various places of everyone’s choosing.  Also some of the older people I know don’t shop online much so that may be off putting. It’s the thought that counts. So what if she didn’t grant OPs exact wish list.[/quote]

I don't find it rude at all. I would love to get people exactly what they want. The gift is about them, not about me. OP did the right thing. MIL asked and OP made it easy for her. This is why I am upfront and just let people know I enjoy time with them, but I don't want gifts. Then I don't get into this dance of someone asking me exactly what I want and then me telling them and the person ignoring it or worrying I wasn't gracious enough and having to donate or keep in basement and display when they come. I just want to enjoy people and good times and not have all this mental clutter that comes with receiving gifts.

The purpose of a gift is to do something nice for someone else. For me, the nice thing would just be to come as yourself and enjoy some food and music and conversation with us. If you want gifts, great, I'll give them and bonus points for the person who tells me what they want so I don't have to be a mind reader.
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Then why is OP presuming MIL is offended? Is it actually OP who is offended she didn’t exactly what she wanted?[/quote]

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