Reply to My teen daughter is overweight but does not care

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I say lay off completely.  She knows how much she weighs and there is literally nothing you can do, it has to come from her.  If you tell her to change her diet or exercise or comment in any way she will get the message "my mom thinks I'm fat."

That kind of pressure can also spark anorexia which is a far more dangerous condition.  I know several girls who went from chubby to very, very sick with anorexia.  You need to be mindful of this.

Honestly, this is your baggage, not hers.  She'e fine, she doesn't care.  You are focused on her weight because, I suspect, you are focused on your own weight and you want her to be as thin as you.  She sees this as your issue and it is creating conflict.  Telling her over and over again that she needs to lose weight (I'm sure you think the message isn't that explicit when you couch it as eating healthy or exercising, but that is almost certainly the message she is receiving) could backfire in a host of ways.  You can't win this, she is her own person.  Accept her as she ie.[/quote]

I think it normal for a parent to worry about their child being unhealthy. A sedentary life, increasing weight and questionable eating habits aren't a good foundation for a healthy life. It sounds like PP you are very sensitive about weight issues and that is where your perspective that parents shouldn't be involved in the health of their children comes from.

How old is your daughter OP? 13 or 17 makes a big difference. [/quote]

I am not sensitive about weight issues for me or my daughter and I certainly never wrote that I don't think parents should be involved in their children's health.  It is precisely out of concern for my DD's health that I don't harp on her weight.

I do have to disagree with the posters who think its OK to sign her up for a gym or encourage her to swim or teach her about nutrition.  All she will hear from this work around is "my mom thinks I'm fat."  She knows about nutrition and she would exercise if she wanted to.  Your involvement raises the emotional pressure which can be really unhealthy.[/quote]

I disagree.  I started going to a 'Spa Lady' with my mom and sister after I stopped HS sports and I got hooked.  IT was when Step Aerobics was the range.  I even ended up teaching classes for awhile. I liked the music, etc. 'Exerice if she wants to'...wake up America.  If parents aren't active and don't show and promote an active lifestyle..their kids won't live that lifestyle.  I was motiveated to run on my own--but it wasn't until I joined a woman's gym that I really got into weight lifting and the habit of daily exercise.  It changes your mood and way of thinking. My mother did not play sports or work out as a kid and she says it played a large part in her not doing it when she was older.  Now at 68- she goes to Golds gym daily with m y dad![/quote]

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