Reply to I insulted my therapist. Actually, a few of them.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Okay two thoughts here, OP, and this from someone whose done a lot of therapy with a bunch of different therapists, who have ranged from amazing/life changing, to solid, to meh, to horrible.

1) I have some simple, logical math for you: You literally have only three choices: a) you can move b) you can be miserable or c) you can figure out ways to be happy (or at least less miserable) where you are.

That’s it. No therapist has some secret fourth option. There’s no magic. You are currently choosing B. As long as you choose B, which includes deciding that both A and C are impossible (which of course is objectively false), you are stuck and no one, nothing can unstuck you. Therapy will be a waste of time and money until you’re willing to say “I am open to the possibility of either A or C, though they both seem super hard,” there’s not really a point to therapy and all therapists are going to disappoint you.

2) Your story as written is unlikely enough for me to feel confident you are not being factually inaccurate. Four bad therapists in a row is certainly possible (though unlikely). But four bad therapists in a row who are bad in the exact same way and are basically providing the same, nearly verbatim, bad response, of “I like living here and I don’t understand why you don’t?” No. Sorry, but I do not believe you. I do not, to be clear, think you are lying. I think you are deeply trapped in your triumphant unhappiness and are not actually listening to or internalizing what these therapists are actually saying. There are many different approaches, very reasonable ones, that I could see a therapist taking that you are interpreting this way. Things like “do you think anyone likes it here?” “No, no one could possibly like it here, it’s terrible” “well, I like it here - can you think of any reasons why someone might like it?”

“Is there anything at all you like here?”

“Why do you think people live here?”

“Can you give me more specifics on what’s making you unhappy here?”

Or any one of a million CBT techniques designed to move you away from the black and white, distorted (yup - sorry to tell you nowhere is all good or all bad) thinking that you are trapped in. In other words, you’re coming in incredibly defensive, and you’re not listening or opening your mind at all (because, see above, you’ve decided B is your only option).

The point of therapy is to change your thought patterns, process and understand your emotions, and be open to new ways of looking at things. As long as you’re going in with “IM PERFECT, MY THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS ARE PERFECTLY RATIONAL ITS JUST THIS HORRIBLE PLACE” you’re wasting your time and money. [/quote]

This is the best post you're going to receive on this OP. [/quote]

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