Reply to Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why not adopt?  y friend was adopted at 2.5 yo by her single, then 54 yo mother. She had an excellent upbringing and, of course, is grateful she was spared growing up in an orphans home/ foster homes.[/quote]

This is a multi layered issue.

There aren't a lot of infants or even toddlers in need of adoption. You aren't just hopping on down to the adoption store to pick out a baby. If op wants to raise a child from infancy or even toddlerhood, it could be faster and less heartbreaking to pay a surrogate.

There are many older kids in foster care in need of adoption. But adopting an older child takes a lot more mental and emotional preparation than having a baby. The majority of older foster kids are dealing with trauma and to put it bluntly, they have behavioral issues because of it. Wanting to be a parent and wanting to adopt an older foster child are two different things entirely. 
[/quote]

Op here. Not sure where people started assuming this was me posting for myself. This is a couple I know. They don’t want to adopt, probably for all the reasons listed above. Just as most people on here do not adopt [/quote]

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