Reply to putting my foot down about homework: vent and rally cry

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We had the same situation (competitive public).  I spent some time supervising closely to gauge the type and amount of work, and then I talked to the teachers.

I explained that we do not believe that a nine year old needs a nine-hour work day.  I explained that we had reached a state of emergency, that my bright, curious, motivated daughter was completely demoralized.  I learned that the teachers did *not* coordinate workload and that in many cases they were unaware of the burden.  I asked them which work they felt was most crucial and explained that I would prioritize her homework every night.  I explained that I would not have her repeat work when she had already shown mastery and that where homework was being used as a study aid, we might substitute some other method.

I explained politely but firmly that I did not give a hot flying fuck about the homework portion of her grade that year, and that I did not care about lowering her GPA due to homework issues.  I did ask to be notified only if they saw her struggling with classwork, and checked in with them periodically.

I explained to her that as long as she paid attention in class, took her important projects seriously and did reasonably well on tests, we would keep her homework load as low as possible for the remainder of the year.  The relief on her face was incredible.

I was a hardass about not dawdling and getting the prioritized homework done, so that she didn't miss the benefit of the new regime.  Within a week, she had her life back.  Her test grades steadily improved.  Our weekday family life was fun again.  She had real time to read and relax and have a life.

The next year was better, and the year after that we found a school that was more reasonable about homework so as not to fight this ridiculous battle every year.

For elementary and middle schoolers, homework is theft.  It's a destroyer of childhood.  Don't be afraid to stand firm and insist that busywork not steal a moment of your child's free time.  That is the only way this changes.  [/quote]

You sound crazy, fyi. Destroyer of childhood?

Your child is going to have an extremely tough time when they get to college. Or are you planning on having this same conversation with her professors lol[/quote]

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