Reply to When do I get to stop worrying about my kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What’s the definition of worry?

I have one kid in college that is doing very well…and honestly go days without really giving much thought at all to how that kid is doing…certainly don’t worry about anything.[/quote]

I think part of the issue is my kids (and dh really) tell me every little worry and problem: a deadline coming up, a grade drop, missing a rehearsal, worries about big things...So all this negative stuff they have going on becomes my mental burden. I don't want this to continue in college because when I am aware of their issues big or small, I worry and take it on and it affects my mental health and focus on myself, my work, my life. I personally never told my parents anything and handled my own life. I WANT to be blissfully ignorant, but I can't really tell my kids to stop communicating openly with me.[/quote]

This is still a "you" problem. You don't need to take these worries on. Your adult child missing a rehearsal is not anything you need to worry about. It is literally not your problem, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, and the consequences are not life threatening.

Have you tried therapy? You don't need to live like this. It is not normal. [/quote]

My kids aren't adults yet. But is it normal for them to tell me every little thing? The consequences in this case actually WERE really bad because it resulted in a zero, and there was something I could do about it. There usually is something I can fix, help with, give advice about, guide...My dh does this too with his work problems. I end up actually helping. I don't want to be my family's fixer forever.[/quote]

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