Reply to Hung up on the idea that toxic STBX husband will be the perfect husband for some 25 year old girl

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Reply to "Hung up on the idea that toxic STBX husband will be the perfect husband for some 25 year old girl"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In a toxic marriage where my husband has habitually cheated on me along with strategic doses of gaslighting and DARVO to keep me confused and manipulating my deep feelings for him. We never had kids as he stalled and hemmed and hawed. Now I am at the end of my fertility but clinging on...why? The gut wrenching idea that [b]he will turn around and build the family I so wanted with some 25 year old girl after denying it to me for years[/b]!

I will probably not survive that...

:cry: [/quote]

Agreeing with the PPs who've suggested therapy, because you're obsessing over something that's not happening now, and that makes it hard to be happy in the present.

But to pop your rumination bubble: No, he won't. He'll still be himself. He'll probably sell her the lie, same as he did you, and then she'll go through what you have. Leopards don't change their spots. It's really difficult to change who you fundamentally are, especially if your go-to management strategies are blaming the people closest to you and then using gaslighting/DARVO/manipulations to try to dodge responsibility.

Leaving a person like that isn't a loss. If your brain is glitching your grief processing, and making you think you should stay to prevent the fantasy you describe, you can get help with that.[/quote]

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