Reply to How to handle coworker who may be crushing

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a male exec, I have sometimes found myself fond of younger, female colleagues.  Not in a crush or weird way - just in a "hey, you seem personable and friendly" way.  You know, like two fellow humans.  This is exacerbated by working in a male-dominated industry where social skills are often in short supply.  So the stereotypically more sociable women become even more appealing for social interaction, relative to their colleagues.

I'm hyper conscientious about avoiding even a whiff of impropriety for both my sake and theirs, but if somebody were paying close attention, they might detect an elevated affinity for them versus other colleagues.  More frequent interactions, a warmer dialogue, whatever.

Ultimately, I'm not going to treat everybody identically.  That's not fair to them and it's counterproductive for team morale.  I meet people where they are.  If you're more sociable, I'll meet you there.  If you're more introverted, I'll give you space.  It sounds like you're sociable, so he's reflecting.

I'd submit that the fact that you're conventionally attractive may be clouding your perspective on the matter.  I mean, the guy is sharing photos of his family with you.  I can't imagine that's an effective flirting strategy.

But regardless, as many prior posters said, you deserve to be comfortable at work.  I recommend really pondering what boundaries you need to get yourself there.  You're obviously entitled to whatever space you need, but if your feedback is unnecessarily draconian or unhinged, you're going to damage what could be an innocuous, positive relationship.

Just food for thought.[/quote]

Chew on this food: are there women your age or older who are sociable and friendly? Do you even know?

Do you ever even talk to those? Or just the younger attractive friendly ones some of whom may not know better? [/quote]

Wow.  Are you always this angry?

Absolutely.  If I was only socializing with younger women, that would be weird.  And problematic.  But that's not what I said, despite your misplaced rage.  I'm just saying that friendships can exist across age and gender gaps without having a creepy element. [/quote]

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