Reply to Need advice - Is this bullying at the bus stop?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Let me ask you then. What would be your plan -- from the perspective of the smaller, younger child -- to fix this? How does the younger, smaller child "fix" this situation short of giving up all rights to get on the bus first and simply allowing the older stronger child to have complete domination over the situation? Is that your vision of "fixing" the situation? Because we could all figure that one out. That's not a fix. That's letting the bully win.

So, if you have a plan, let us know how it would work. [/quote]

I would suggest, as I said before, that the younger child use humor to deal with it. "After you!" And "complete domination"? Just to let someone else go first to get on a bus? I rode a middle school bus where there weren't even enough seats for everyone and at least a dozen children stood in the aisle. As long as you get on the bus, be satisfied. This is not a slippery slope issue. I think the term bully is over-used greatly, and that kids would do better in life if they had to work some things out themselves. Even if the 4th grader rallied all the other non-sixth graders and confronted the 6th graders and got them to agree that they'd switch weeks - one week it would be the 4th graders turn to get on first and the next it'd be the 6th graders turn to get on first - I'd be happy with that. My issue though, is that the kids should work it out themselves - a fourth grader should not have their mommy solving their interpersonal squabbles with peers for them unless it's serious, which this is not. Serious would be a sixth grader holding a BB gun to the 4th grader's head, or waving around a broken bottle threatening to cut them. [/quote]

You keep saying the kids should work it out for themselves.  A grand idea, in theory.  And you have some other great ideas, switching weeks, banding together, and so forth.  But this situation sounds physical and hostile and inappropriate.  Saying kids SHOULD work it out for themselves is really silly when a situation has reached the breaking point and cannot be worked out.  As a parent, you have a responsibility to make sure your children are not physically aggressive.  Humor is not going to diffuse physical aggression.  Sorry, but no.  As parents, yes, we should stay out when we can, but we have a responsibility to step in when things are inappropriate and beyond our children's ability to negotiate.  This is such a situation.  Expecting younger children to use humor to negotiate physical aggression is too much.  And standing by and letting older children behave like this?  Absolutely absurd.[/quote]

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