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[quote=Anonymous]I'm one of the PP and wanted to add that a lot of this emphasis on education (which Americans don't understand) comes from a simple fact that most immigrants come from no generational wealth. Both I and DH came here with 1 suitcase. So there's no help from grandparents (and it's good if you don't have to help them), meaning there are no tuition money accounts set up or grandparents paying for grandkids anything. Hence good grades/winning competitions gives a chance to apply for merit scholarships. Tbh, I have told my kids not to saddle themselves with college debt and look for alternatives if it comes to that (including going back to home country, which is WAY more competitive, but free). So perhaps OP's son is disappointed with his Ivy degree and the effort it took him to get there, please don't beat yourself up needlessly. Ask him about the alternative: no college degree and job opportunities, or living in his grandparents village somewhere. Also, it seems "popular" to put down Asian mom academic standards. There are a lot of high achieving successful Asian kids out there, many in my own kids' high school. Sure, they gripe about doing math every day for 1 hour and I'm not requiring that of my kid, but they're also happy to win math competitions. So it's important to strike the balance between what your kid can do and what they cannot. Obviously you cannot make someone achieve by abusing them. [/quote]

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