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Reply to "Asian Parents Broke Me"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How did your son send you that link last week when that video was only created two days ago?[/quote] This is OP. It was a mistake on my part. My son sent me this video last week that was posted three months ago by Alex Wei: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ne4vdF3CFiE. He told me that was exactly how he felt upon graduation from the Ivy. He graduated from an elite college because that was what I wanted, but it wasn't what he wanted. We had very little communication after he graduated from college. He sent me the video and told me that was how he felt about me, and hoped I would not repeat those same mistakes to his younger brothers. I came to the US from Vietnam as an immigrant, and I wanted my kids to have what I did not have growing up. I sent him to the best sports camps, music training, and academic bootcamps that the best money could buy. I did those without considering how he felt about them. [/quote] I'm an Asian immigrant, though I came here as a baby, but my parents were low income. While I am not a tiger mom to my kids, I do push them to take academics seriously insofar as they are able to get a good paying job that will enable them to be financially stable and independent. I've shared with my kids how much of a struggle my childhood and young adult life was being poor. They don't want to be poor. It really really sucks. Again, while I'm not a tiger mom, my kids, yours, and this kid don't get that, more than likely, if you the parent had not immigrated to the US -- making sacrifices, like leaving family/friend, moving to a country where you probably don't speak the language (or well enough), having to deal with a completely different culture -- their lives in your home country would've been awful, too. Most of these Asian countries require you to push yourself even more academically to get that coveted spot in the top universities. They would've spent all hours in after school tutoring classes until like 11pm, starting from MS, if not ES. We immigrant parents should not push our kids too hard, obviously, but our kids should understand the sacrifices that the parents made to give their kids a better life. I didn't make those sacrifices since I came here as a baby, but my parents did. They weren't tiger parents, either, but I know they made huge sacrifices for us. I tell my kids that they should be appreciative of the sacrifices my parents made, without which, my life and my children's lives would've been that much harder. [/quote] Asian American here. I do push my kids to do well academically and they do have perfect grades. Compared to their Asian counterparts in Asia, they have it easy. I’m not abusive. I make sure they do their homework and study for tests. It is typical and not just Asians. I think any responsible parent would do this. If my kids weren’t smart and couldn’t do the work, I would not push as hard. They are capable.[/quote]
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