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Reply to "Totally overhauling your life to homeschool somewhere cheaper?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you for the responses. I am not from the U.S. originally so I do worry about how I would fit in somewhere in, say, the Midwest. My in laws are local (DC suburbs) and my own family are all still overseas.

Re meds we have tried Ritalin and Adderall, both of which made oldest DC very jittery and agitated. Then guanfacine which they’ve both been on for ages, which helped at first but now doesn’t seem to be helping as much (and makes them fall asleep and wake up very early… couldn’t give it at night as it gave nightmares). [b]I am a bit scared of SSRIs and things like Abilify because of the lasting side effects. [/b]Like, I don’t want to add more issues with medication if a lifestyle change could help.
Part of the issue is that I have not been able to find anyone who can handle DC. We tried nannies in the pandemic and 3 of them quit. So we are doing almost all afterschool care ourselves, plus some grandparent help. I don’t think most nannies could handle my kids behavior, even if we could financially swing it. Private schools would almost certainly kick them out due to behavioral issues. Just feel a bit trapped.[/quote]

You've only tried treating the ADHD -- you haven't even tried treating the anxiety. If you want to move somewhere slower/cheaper, by all means, do it. But it's not fair to make the kids live with anxiety -- it's a terrible feeling.

Fwiw, my child was on abilify for two years before we saw any concerning side effects -- and the peace we got in those two years allowed so much growth in social skills and relationship building. When weight and a1c crept up, we switched to latuda and weight immediately came down.[/quote]

+1  Think of the side effects of a medication vs the side effects of completely turning their lives upside down, especially when anxiety is the reason why.  Anger/violence is is definitely a side effect of anxiety and I can't see adding the stress of starting a new life as a helpful move.  It's actually avoiding/running away from a big part of their treatment, which is learning to function in groups knowing they will be ok.  From this board, I've learned that DCPS doesn't have a great track record for SN kids.  I live in FFX county and I've been really happy with our experience.  Maybe a change of school system could help?

FWIW, I have an anxiety disorder myself, am on an SNRI, and come from a family of peeps with raging ADHD.  I saw my own father and brother become happier, more functioning, more enjoyable people to be around when they had ADHD meds combined with anxiety meds.  It actually helped my own anxiety because I wasn't constantly walking on eggshells wondering when the next meltdown/blow up/fight would be and if I would inadvertently start it.  I only wish we'd all gotten treated sooner, we'd have better relationships as adults (and saved a ton of money on therapy) if we had. [/quote]

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