Reply to How normal is it to yell at your kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We yell most days. Personally I think the conflict adverse houses and kids are a lot more anxious.[/quote]

Genuine question for people who describe houses where people don't yell as "conflict adverse." Do you yell in the rest of your life? I don't yell at my spouse or my coworkers or my friends, and they don't yell at me. We have conflicts; we just talk normally through them. It seems odd to me to expect yelling.[/quote]

Honestly, I kind of agree with this. There is so much passive aggressiveness in my workplace because there is no yelling or getting angry at anything and it's not healthy either. So many people put out by someone saying something off to them that they don't agree with and work to throw others under the bus. Just look at politics. They will talk and say something like I was just vibing when this person did such and such to me and describe themselves as a genuinely nice person that bad things just happen to. They can't realize that they are actually being critical, gossipy, mean, negligent, etc. It's like they don't identify with that part of their personality and think that by being sly they aren't being mean. It's the other person that "did" something to them. They also are very hesitant to do new things because they have to be seen as perfect in everything. They don't like to ask questions. They hate being wrong. They hate being called out.

The stern look parent obviously is the best happy medium between a yelling parent and a passive aggressive parent but not everyone can achieve this all the time. These people tend to be very good at what they do and good at instituting consequences. Behavior is at the top of their priority list. Both the yeller and the passive aggressive person give themselves leeway to act poorly.[/quote]

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