Reply to Sister wants to keep her house and our moms house

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. Thanks, all for your insight on this; it’s really appreciated.

The money/sister selling her share isn’t really the issue at hand. Sister has essentially been living in our Moms house for free for the past three years anyways. I know we’ll eventually get the money for my share, but even if we don’t, DH and I will be fine financially without it.

What the sticking point is for me is the sheer amount of stuff that my sister has in her house. She has a four bedroom house, and three of the bedrooms and the basement are filled with stuff that needs to be donated or trashed. I’m talking about boxes of 20 year old credit card statements, old baby clothes from her sons, old laptops/phones that don’t work…you get the idea. My thinking is that it’s easy for her to keep all this stuff, because she has the space, so if she downsized, it would force her to get rid of some of this stuff. We’ve tried many times over the years to help her get rid of her stuff, but it’s such a big task, that she gets overwhelmed before we can make a dent.

Her sons (one lives locally, one lives a 10 hour drive) would be more than happy for her to sell the house and downsize to somewhere smaller. In fact, the local son went to her house unannounced and started purging stuff that she didn’t need, which she wasn’t too happy about.[/quote]

OP-I’m saying this in the kindest possible tone: there was no need for this explanation. Everyone reading your post knows that your sister is a hoarder. We get it.

What you’re not getting is that you cannot control this. You’ve seen multiple post here to move on with the sales transaction. That’s all you can do. Being upset or bothered by her hoarding doesn’t fix it. Being judgmental doesn’t fix it.

Get your money out of your mom’s house and move on. Your sister isn’t going to deal with this until either she’s ready or until Adult Protective Services has to be called in. [/quote]

I'm sorry that your sister is this way , and I hope she finds the help she needs.

Your sister has a big problem and this won't be fixed because you want it to be on your timescale.
Sell her your share of the house, and then be there when she is ready to deal with the hoarding problem she has.

*you* also have a problem with control if you can't do this . Please, separate your issues.[/quote]

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