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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You don't parent anymore. You move to the friends stage. Do you try to parent or give unsolicited advice to your friends? No, so don't do it to your adult children.  Of course you can still give advice and share stories with your kids, but only when asked and it's appropriate. You have to realize that you've raised wonderful children and it's their turn to make their own decisions. You only get 18 years to shape them.

It took one of our parents a bit longer to stop giving us patronizing advice and I will say that it was to that parents' detriment. That parent got less phone calls and it wasn't as interesting to talk to them because they just wanted to grill me on my investments, my job and any other decisions I was making.

How to convey your love? Listen to their stories about their travels or fun things they did on the weekend. Show interest in their friends or people they're dating. You have raised kids right when they still love you enough to willingly want to be your friend when they're grown. 
[/quote]

Seeking some advice. This previous post reminds me of me, unfortunately. I’m the parent who seems to do the grilling. And I don’t want to do permanent damage. My son is 20, away at college. When we speak, especially on the phone, his responses are one worded. I would gladly and wholeheartedly listen to all he has to say, but he doesn’t tell me much lately. So , I feel like I’m always asking questions just to get some sort of conversation going. I tell little snippets from my week, etc. He does speak to my DH more, it’s usually sports/current events related, which I’ll discuss also. I just don’t want these one worded , barren conversations to be our future. [/quote]

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