Reply to Husband making (real) compromises

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[quote=Anonymous]OP your husband sounds emotionally immature and like there is a bigger issue here.  Will he go to counseling ?

You are free to divorce but the reality is that in that case you will still have to agree on all major decisions for your child - the kind of care, where he goes to school, what you will pay for college.  *or* you will have to let the court decide for you.  Divorce will mean a lot less money for him as well as for you, and asking the courts to decide will mean even less.  He seems to just be bullying you right now but you have that leverage.

You should ask for counseling because if you don't divorce you will figure out how to live together and if you do, it will provide you a lot of ammunition and make it clear what you want.

You shuold also see a divorce lawyer and be crystal clear what his leverage his for your situation so you don't let him bully you for years and then realize you were making major decisions that made you unhappy because of empty threats.

Again, this isn't "not compromising" - this is bullying and threats.  Not the same.  Good luck.

TO be clear, my husband and I discuss and agree on things like schools, where to live and other things.  Both of us make what you would call "compromises" perhaps - we both moved here because the sum total of our career happiness was best, even though neither of us got our first choice, for exampel.  And when we renovate we do things both of us want -- we are doing our bathroom (his obsession) and my study (waht I care more about) together.  but mostly through discussing we realize that we actually want the thigns we agree on - for example, my study will also have a comfy adults-only couch and a sitting chair where we can both relax.  When we disagreed on schools we agreed to look at both and in the end agreed on our ultimate option.  So if this example helps you please see this is as a possible alternative.  We are both incredibly strong willed and opinionated but we communicate and reflect on life being about more than just ourselves and have some affection, even if day to day life with kids grinds it down. 
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