Reply to Women, do you ever think your DH has a double life?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think everyone in my orbit is low energy.  We can barely go to work/school, take care of home/kids/elders/pets, come home, eat and go to bed.

Just plain ol boring people, with zero appetite to meet other people, vape/drink/do drugs/party.

Ordinary life is whupping our asses. [/quote]

Ha!  This was the main reason I never suspected my then-H of cheating.  And I do still think that's a pretty good indicator.  But turned out to be false in my case.

My ex (together 22 years, married 12) was having sex with men from craigslist and gay hookup apps during the day when I was working out of the home (he worked at home).  He was also a crossdresser, and had been since high school, which I knew nothing about.  He went so far as to archive all of his Amazon purchases, even though we had separate accounts.

I never suspected a thing.  We had regular sex with no issues.  Never any shady behavior with his phone.  He went fishing a lot and I'd sometimes show up at the pond unannounced with our dog just to surprise him and he was always there alone fishing.  Both of us came from liberal, nonreligious families, and we didn't want kids, so none of the traditional reasons someone might stay closeted.

One day I was diagnosed with a minor STD, confronted him, and he said he'd exchanged oral with 3 men.  Total shock to me, got divorced, etc.  He dated a new woman for a year, and when they broke up she contacted me and said he cheated on her with men, and she was an absolute font of information.  She found out when they were on vacation together and he fell asleep with his laptop open and she snooped.  That's one thing I never did in our marriage, both because I had no suspicions and because he's extremely tech savvy.  She also made fake profiles on his gay apps and catfished him and took screenshots.  She's my hero.  She gave me so.much.information that helped answer so many questions I thought I'd never get answers to.  [/quote]

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