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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I mean at some point you need to decide if the cost benefit is worth it. Is your mom really living? But yes, it’s insanely expensive and most people who choose to go with this much care spend down principal. [/quote]

What’s the other option? You don’t just die when you decide to die.[/quote]

I really wish you could decide in advance you don't want to live being "mostly incapacitated". It is ridiculous that you can't. I don't see the point in spending all that money. I would much rather my children and grandchildren had that money. I am hoping that in 25-30 years when I reach 80 there will be that option.[/quote]

My mom had a stroke and spent 12 years in assisted living. She was incapacitated enough that she had to be there - needed help bathing, dressing, eating, and she couldn't walk. Yet she got to spend those years interacting with me, and she got to see her grandchildren grow up. That was the "point" of spending hundreds of thousands of dollars. I'm sure she wouldn't have chosen suicide over that.

There are lots of people in assisted living in a similar situation - incapacitated enough that they need professional help, too incapacitated to live alone or with their families, but not so incapacitated that their life "isn't worth living".[/quote]

I think (IMO) it's only people who end up in memory care that feel "life isn't worth living".  When you talk to your parents and 5 min in they don't know who they are talking to and their memory really only exists from when they were 2-10 yo, it can be frustrating.  But many many people have minor strokes/HA/health issues that require assisted living but they are still mentally 100% all there (or as all there as an 85-95 yo without dementia can be) and yes they would get great joy from living their life to it's fullest.  Who cares if you require assistance for bathing, toileting and eating.

[/quote]

My mom ended up in memory care. Her short term memory was shot, yet she remembered all of us when we visited. Sometimes she momentarily confused her daughters for her sisters, but she usually caught herself soon after. She always remembered our kids as well as DH. She was much happier in memory care than at home where she was largely alone. Dementia is largely terrible, but not everyone has the exact same symptoms and may exhibit contentment, even happiness, every day. [/quote]

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