Reply to What happens at an initial consultation with a developmental pediatrician?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, your child is hitting, biting, poking, licking people.  This is not typical behavior and he is clearly very unhappy.  That is the problem.  The problem is not the teachers (yeah, they shouldn't be suggesting diagnoses, I agree, but it seems like they want you to get him help) or the specialists.  Again, there are no villains here, just people trying to help.

Who knows what the problem is, but the problem is serious.  It may be that the school is too rigid for him, but you need to find out why so you can perhaps get a better place for him.

While it seems true that your DC has been labeled a problem, it also seems true that he IS a problem.  This is an aggressive, unhappy child and you better believe that the other parents view him with trepidation and the teachers are frustrated with how much work it is to keep him in line and from hurting the other children.

A bite is actually a serious medical issue and kids who are bitten by other children often have to take a round of high powered antibiotics if the bite draws blood.  Preschools will generally kick children out who do this more than once.  You are fortunate that the teachers are working with you to try to resolve his issues rather than showing you the door.  If his behavior continues in this manner, you can expect other parents to lobby the school to do something about him.

Why you are so resistant to finding the cause and the solution to this problem is confusing to me.  Everyone is wrong and out to get you and doing terrible things to you and your child while meanwhile you have a young son who is clearly suffering.  That is the issue.  Focus on that and getting him some help.[/quote]

My child is not generally unhappy.  You don't even know my child.  Thanks for bearing out my worst fears - people who don't even know him and will simply make assumptions.  He has never bitten so hard that he has drawn blood and it is not a common occurence.  But thanks for letting me know your diagnosis, not that it is worth much to me.[/quote]

Plus, I just want to add that he learned to bite AT DAYCARE, FROM ANOTHER KID.  The first day out of the baby room he was bitten.  We worked hard to get that under control, but trust me - he has been bitten just as many times as he has retaliated.  Should I have lobbied daycare to throw out every kid in his toddler room?  Kids bite, and then we have to teach them not to.  That is exactly what we did and what we have continued to do.  It only happens now rarely and generally when he is around another aggressive child.  It's not like my kid is out of control every minute of every day breaking things and hitting people constantly.  Does he have some issues, especially in overstimulating situations?  Yes.  Is he a total nightmare 24/7?  No.  He is generally a pretty happy, sweet, smart and funny kid.  I hope I don't know you.[/quote]

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