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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Thanks, PP.  Great advice and I will try.  And again, I don't mean to be disrespectful to parents of kids with ASD - it's just that it was so completely off base. While I do strongly veer towards wanting to be in denial, I know that something is off - but it's just not that.  And she was so totally unqualified to even say that.  On the drive home that night poor DH was like "do you think she has a point?"  That alone made me want to punch her, because I knew the answer was no and the ped and neuro consult both totally dismissed that as a possibility. Just so not helpful and not even something we needed to think about.  The reality is my DS is probably more ADD/ADHD, not that this silly woman would know the difference.  And it's the people like her that make me worry about people labeling and stereotyping my child based on ignorance.  I feel for all of you on here and I'm sorry if I'm coming off wrong.  My first taste of all of this is leaving me reeling, quite honestly.  I don't even know how you all do this.

What strikes me most about your post is this whole "team" thing.  I'm trying really hard not to be negative about this stuff, but the idea that my kid will require some team of experts to manage him and his issues whatever they may be just kills me.  I know it is irrational but that prospect, on top of this whole evaluative process, is just making me feel like a big fucking failure.  I loved being a mom until about four months ago, and then it all started going to shit.  Now, it feels like a job.  The joy is just totally being sucked out of it for me.  And I know that is wrong, too, and I'm trying to keep my brave face on for my son and not let him feel my anxiety, but it is really hard.  I don't love him any less, and I don't blame him, and I'm not angry at him, but it does hurt, and I am scared, and it's really hard for me to hide it.  I want to crawl in my bed and not come out.

Does this stuff end?  I'm reading the posts here about the mom who is so burnt out and how hard it all is and just. . .yeah.  I'm not cut out for this stuff at all.  [/quote]

PP, again. I hear you on the anxiety and the three jobs. I have put my career, which I genuinely loved, aside because altogether this stuff was too much for me to handle. Everybody's different--a lot of people find solace in their work. But my job was very demanding--too demanding for me anyway.

I think you need to remind yourself of the positives. Everything you thought and felt three months ago--it is all still true. Your kid is as great now as he was then. I bet I'd love him. Sometimes smart, funny kids have a hard time when they get to school and encounter other people's rules and other people's structure. Sometimes kids with attentional difficulties have a hard time processing a classroom, with so much input coming at them overwhelmingly fast all at once. Sometimes kids with anxiety are really overloaded when they are surrounded by so many people. My child is also totally different at home and at school. Most kids behave better at school than at home, right? Well a lot of people on this board can tell you that our kids behave much better at home--and this is a sign that they are struggling with [i]something[/i]. If you can identify the specific areas of struggle, you know how to help your kid. I want to tell you that my child, who has severe ADHD and severe anxiety now LOVES school. I never thought I'd be able to say that, but I really can. Do I expect more trouble down the road? Sure, and I know it will make me anxious all over again, but I also know that we can get through it.

Re: the idea of a team... you know, it is more about trying one thing and, if it helps, sticking with it; if it doesn't, trying something different. In the process, you will hopefully find someone to guide you, maybe you already have. That is all I meant. It is a huge relief to have someone else shoulder some of the burden.

Listen, OP, try to deal with this one step at a time. My kid has pretty big issues and he is doing great now. I have a friend whose child bit his way through preschool and he is doing great now, too--no diagnosis. Try not to think of this as the beginning of the rest of your life but rather as a way to help your child be successful at preschool. If you can achieve that, a lot of positives will follow.[/quote]

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