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Reply to "Lonely college students"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]IMO, it's parents being more aware and having social media to complain to. [/b] I never told my parents what my life was like in college. I ask DC if they have friends they hang out with.[/quote] +1 I had a really hard time making friends first year of college. Didn't really find my groove until well into 2nd year. I didn't talk to my parents about it.[/quote] Kids unwilling to speak to or confide in their parents isn't the bar that many people aspire to. [/quote] 100%. Far better than kids becoming depressed or suicidal.[/quote] I don’t know. [b]Dealing with your own problems is essential for mental health. [/b][b]Falling back on your parents and dragging them into your misery doesn’t help anything. [/b][b]I was miserable at the start of college but sharing that with my parents would not have made the situation better.[/b] I had to learn to make more efforts to get out and befriend people.[/quote] It wouldn't have made your situation better because our parents (mine included) really struggled with empathy, emotional maturity, and social problem solving. I was so depressed and lonely in college I did finally try to talk to my mom about it. Her response was to get mad, because she had "spent so much time driving me around to look at schools" and then I ended up being unhappy where I chose. As an adult I understand her response was terrible because she had no other skills with which to react, but at the time I ended contemplating if killing myself would just be easier than transferring or going home. I made it through alone and somehow put together a transfer application to a school I was better suited for, and honestly by the end of the year I had found my tribe at the first school and would have been ok if I stayed. I could have had the exact same lesson of grit and problem solving, minus the crippling depression and suicidal ideation, if I had had parents who were empathetic and supportive. Needless to say, I've tried to take a different approach with my kids. In the end they will have to make their choices and do their work, but I think me providing empathy and advice is going to make them stronger, not weaker. So, to answer OP, the difference is that more kids talk to their parents today, and their parents actually give a crap. I think that's a good thing.[/quote]
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