Reply to I should just get these shoes for my kid, right?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here and honestly I am still torn. I agree the shoes are impractical and not well made. She hates the more practical choices I suggested. But I generally try to defer to her on style choices because she's the one who will be wearing them. This is the first time that I've wondered if maybe I should be trying to convince her that a more practical athletic shoe (which is what most of the other kids in her grade wear) is a better choice even though she thinks it's ugly.

I think I'm in my head about it because my mom was super controlling about how I dressed though actually she constantly bought clothes for me that were too young and immature and didn't listen to me when I explained that kids would make fun of me if I wore them (which they 100% did). And also it just bugged me she was always trying to dress me like a toddler.

So yes I know I'm being mildly ridiculous here but it's because this is a subject where I have a lot of parenting baggage and am trying to do better by my kid but am not really sure what "better" is here.[/quote]

I think better is listening to her in this case. I said that before and almost suggested that the bullying idea was your anxiety. I think it's important for your future parenting not to give into your desire to control her (or control the outcome of what other kids might do) because once you step back, you appear to (want to) value her agency more than what shoes she picks.

If someone makes fun of her (bullying seems unlikely in my experience), then cross that bridge at that time and with her input!

Said another way, it seems like you only don't want to listen to her based on your fear of what might happen in the future, which is not a reason that relies on your values of letting her be who she is when it's safe to do so.[/quote]

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