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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I mean…. where is this coming from? My teen has literally never even approached the phrase. “I hate you“. That’s not a statement about my parenting, but we just don’t have that kind of conflict in the house. Are these normal “hey you have to get up for school” conversations that transition to “I hate you?“ Because that’s not normal. Rather than talking about not buying her Starbucks I would get to the bottom of if there is something going on with her. How much screen time is she getting? Is she involved in any physical activity like sports (she needs to be, even if it’s just being outside). Have grades slipped? What’s the story with friends/boys etc? If you’re partnered, what’s the conflict resolution pattern she sees there?

Look teens can be awful and yes sometimes it’s hormones but it seems like there’s more to this story. If she’s telling you she hates you bc you won’t buy her a dragonfruit lemonade at SB then yes, no more SB.  [/quote]

+1, and regarding ignoring bad behavior,
I interpret that generally as not raising the level of emotional reactivity in the house so if my teen were to be very rude I’d (try to) calmly tell them we can talk later when they can be civil and then put my AirPods in and go for a walk rather than shouting back at them that they’ll respect me or else, not that I should literally pretend not to notice when they say rude hurtful things. [/quote]

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