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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don’t want to hijack the early 20s marriage trend thread but as someone who met my husband at 30 and was married with a baby by 34, I WISH we’d met 10 years sooner.

Raised in a major liberal city on a coast and ended up in the Midwest and I feel like so much of what my generation- millennial - was sold in that environment is absolute BS. As a girl in that environment I was raised to be independent and dating for marriage was not culturally cool. Friends all prioritized having a good time and while people did pursue education and careers, the idea that marriage was something to plan for and intentionally seek out was looked down upon. Wanting to be a SAHM was seen as foolish and waste of education and careers.

And FWIW I come from a 2-parent still married household, so had a solid example.

When I moved to where I’m at now, it was culturally VERY different and wanting to be a wife and mother was seen as totally acceptable and normal.

When I talk to my friends - late 30s/mid 40s- many are now realizing that they may have missed their window for marriage that includes bio kids…or they’re rushing to find ANY guy and it’s slim pickings. This is across all racial and social groups. Women that are beautiful and accomplished are realizing that the “good guys” - kind, considerate, thoughtful- are paired off or returning to availability after marriage and divorce, which brings it’s own sets of issues.

It makes me feel like we were sold a bad bill of goods. Go to college have a career, live life independently, date around, and then eventually find a man but don’t rush, don’t make being a wife and mom your whole personality. Don’t settle down too young because you’ll miss out on having fun.

Except…there’s nothing that I did in my 20s that was worth doing that I wouldn’t have had a good time with, with my DH. I was complete and happy before I met my DH, but life with my family is the best thing I could have ever done.

I was a homeowner and business owner before marriage, I’d traveled, so it’s not like my life was boring or sad…but I feel like there is definitely a narrative in progressive/liberal areas that having a family somehow takes away from all of that. Meanwhile being married and a mom has created a foundation/focus that I definitely didn’t have before. Even as a type A overachiever.

Because of when I met DH we’re likely one and done on the kids front, which I’m ok with I only really wanted one, but do wish we’d had more time together as a couple before becoming parents…because there are some things that only make sense to do when you’re in your 20s before you’re a parent.

Meanwhile a bunch of my friends will probably never end up with marriages and families they want. Or will settle for situations that they don’t want to become moms.

I’m still a progressive, absolutely support women creating the lives they want for themselves whether that includes marriage and kids or not. Young women should absolutely secure solid education, this isn’t some trad wife propaganda, and also I wish there was more balance in the discussions that are being had about trade offs. Time and fertility are finite resources. [/quote]

This sounds like a post written by a man lol. [/quote]

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