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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m middle aged and among my middle aged married friends and family are both women who pursued college education and women who didn’t, women who married and had kids in their early twenties and women who waited until their thirties and a few who struggled with fertility and didn’t become mothers until early forties.

There is no question that the women who married younger and didn’t pursue education were more dependent on the marriage even when it was toxic and conditions existed which likely should have led to divorce. Those women were much less able to envision their lives without the crutch of marriage, no matter how dysfunctional. I don’t see that their lives were benefited greatly by early marriage and motherhood.

I’ve been caring for homebound elders for several years now, many of them at end of life. I’ve found that people will often confess their life regrets more easily to a new friend and caregiver than to family members who they don’t wish to hurt with expression of their regrets. Most every elder woman I’ve cared for has lamented early and decades long marriages which consumed their whole lives and limited their opportunities to stretch their wings and become fully themselves.  [/quote]

You can’t regret what you have. If those elderly people had made a choice to sacrifice their childbearing years for their career or to travel, something pretty much unheard of during their era, you could easily have been hearing some of the life regrets we see on these boards - women who find themselves struggling to have kids because they waited too long.[/quote]

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