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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I saw you wrote that you don’t want the excessive drinking to happen in front of you “ever again.” Unfortunately, your family member has shown that he can’t be trusted to control his drinking. Your words won’t matter to him, but your actions will.

So now your only choice is to control your own boundaries. That means the druncle isn’t invited, he gets kicked out or the party is over after x drinks, or you leave events once he gets drunk. There are less and more subtle ways to avoid inviting him. You could, for example, travel on holidays or celebrate birthdays with your family of choice rather than say “Everyone is invited but you.” If you’d like the option to leave events, meeting at someone else’s house or restaurant is the move.

But it’s not your reaction that’s the problem, it’s brother’s behavior. When he insists that everything is ok and he’s functioning well, it’s fair to point out that sneaking beer that wasn’t offered to guests isn’t normal or a sign things are ok. It’s alright that this guy ends up feeling badly, as that’s a direct consequence of his choices.[/quote]

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