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[quote=Anonymous][quote=redquasar][quote=Anonymous]OP when he turns down the activities you suggest, what reason does he give?  Does he have friends?  Does he spend time with them outside of school?  [/quote]

he'll usually state that he has no interest and it will be hard to get motivated for that. He does some recreational volleyball at the Y but not a sports guy which is fine.   He does orchestra in school and played last year in a very high level county band, but just went through the motions; no zeal.

There is a pressure from colleges to be a "pointy' applicant which a unique passion. I disagree with that if it is forced and doesn't come from within. But turning down options at the buffet of opportunities before even trying them is tough. [/quote]

My sons were like this.  I explained to them that activities are necessary to get into  college and that they would have to do some things in high school.  I also said they had to start music in middle school and could quit it for high school in exchange for other electives.

Both ended up liking strings.  So got 4 years of orchestra lined up.  The younger one does a community orchestra also.

Then, I asked the older one to try theater/drama club, and he agreed to do lighting/crew.  (My family goes to a lot of theater for fun.)  He became crew head senior year.  I also asked him to try Model UN, and that stuck.  He became the president of that club senior year as well.

The younger one, I had to try twice but I got him hooked on robotics in 9th grade.

So, my advice is...don't push in middle school but let kids know why you are inquiring and that they will have to do something in high school. Shaping the path rather than pushing worked pretty well.

My younger one still complains about his busy schedule but he lacks perspective.  He basically has 3 time flexible ECs (two of which are tied, and he can walk to them from school) and goes to tutoring in math 2 days a week.  And the only thing he wants to quit is the tutoring.[/quote]

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