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[quote=Anonymous]UVA Prof. Tim Davis gave an interesting presentation to parents during orientation about building a resilient student. I hope the link below works for those that are interested. He gave a follow up presentation last night and several people asked what to do if their kid isn't reaching out (what's "normal, too much or too little"). His message was developmentally they want more independence so we need to step back and change our role from caregiver to one of friendly support.

His suggestions -
1. Follow their lead - let them reach out to you. It's ok to require a call 1x a week (we are paying!), but they get to decide when and how to connect (call or FaceTime) 
2. Be a good listener - let them direct the call and don't tell them what to do
3. Don't try to solve their problems, instead affirm their feelings (I'm sorry you didn't make the club/team etc - that stinks), 
4. Ask questions, especially when they call and they're upset about not getting the class they wanted, a low test score, roommate, food, friends etc. Our role is to again acknowledge their frustration and then ask what are some resources you can utilize to address the situation. But, unless it's a life threatening situation or a serious mental health challenge, let them figure it out. They'll take their bumps and bruises, but will be more resilient.

[url]https://orientation.virginia.edu/resilient-college-student[/url][/quote]

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