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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I got really sick of AP. I came out of midlife depression, worked on my own issues with a therapist. I got much happier in my own marriage and leaned in. It got to the point I couldn’t figure out how to extract myself from a messy situation with someone that kept clinging. I let it get too far for too long and should have pulled the string much much sooner. It ended pretty ugly. [/quote]

So you blamed your AP for how shite you were as a human, and "got happier in your marriage" (aka invested the time you should've spent there in the first place, instead of being a philandering ass).

You are not healed. You're in remission, at best. Probably more in denial. You'll cheat again, because you haven't cleaned up your mess; you just blamed it on AP.[/quote]

I guess you missed the individual therapy.  Yes- I take full responsibility for myself.  Not sure why you are angry at a stranger telling their truth.[/quote]

Did this full responsibility include telling your spouse?[/quote]

Yes. Full confession…everything. No sugar coating. I answered every question honestly even though I knew it could signal the end —which it did for awhile. [/quote]

I feel sorry for your clingy AP, who was probably a dumb and vulnerable woman who made you feel good about yourself for awhile.  Once it no longer felt good, you dumped her like trash.  Your post reveals that as your "truth."  [b]Women are only tools to make you feel however you want to feel in any particular moment.[/b]  Once they are no longer making you feel good, you treat them like trash.  I doubt you recovered.  Your poor wife.[/quote]

This goes both ways. Most people seek a relationship or marriage to feel good. [/quote]

If you read a lot of these posts, there are virtually no women whose husbands forgive them, while women are out here destroying themselves emotionally coping with rebuilding a marriage after an affair.  I'm sure there ARE men who can get past an affair, but not many.

[b]Whereas women seem to take that commitment to their marriage far more seriously.  Men aren't tools to us, [/b]most of these men are little more than large children themselves.[/quote]

This is dramatic and very black/white thinking. There are plenty of women who don’t take their marriage seriously and who use men.

I know in your mind every cheating woman ends up divorced and lonely while the male AP is living his best life post affair, but that’s not reality.  That’s just what you want to happen because you’re angry. 
[/quote]

I'm only reporting what I see on this board.  Men behave poorly, women forgive them or make do, and women have far less leeway to so much as gain weight.  My own circle is sort of a less dramatic variation of this as no one I know has ever admitted to cheating, but it's very similar.  Seemingly everyone is struggling with a lazy/immature/ASD/ADHD/angry/cheating husband.[/quote]

It’s simply a resources difference. [/quote]

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