Reply to If you divorced due to YOUR affair, what do you tell people?

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Reply to "If you divorced due to YOUR affair, what do you tell people?"

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[quote=Anonymous]When we first separated, I owned it but didn't make a lot of proactive public declarations. I honestly didn't talk to a lot of people during/about my divorce. I had my mom, a couple close friends, a therapist, and a lawyer. My ex made a variety of public declarations, which was his prerogative. I hope the validation he got from that was helpful for him. Some of our mutual friends confronted me directly about it, and some of those confrontations resulted in real conversations.

I never denied what I did or why I did it - I was unhappy, cowardly, and self-destructive and I didn't love my husband anymore and acted out. It was stupid, and it wasn't the only stupid thing I did, but it WAS a wakeup call that something had to change. By the time I was having any of these conversations with anyone, I'd done a fair amount of changing (e.g., quit drinking entirely, built regular yoga practice, got a different job, other stuff).

That said, this happened in my late 20s and I'm now in my mid-40s. I live in a completely different part of the country and have been married to my second husband for over 10 years. I don't really talk about what happened in my first marriage anymore at all. [/quote]

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