Reply to DH is not the person I married :(

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh, now he wants to be Mr Mom, when they are 12 and 15 and almost completely self sufficient. Fascinating.[/quote]

Yes - this also gets me.. He was so absent when I needed him. He went to the office before they went to school and came home after dinner. He never made an effort to help on a daily basis with the kids. [/quote]

You mean he was working long hours being the person you wanted him to be and providing you the life you wanted? You can't both complain that he's unattractive when he's present and that he was absent when he was acting the way you find attractive.

He burned himself out being the kind of man you're attracted to and now he wants out. I don't blame him; that life is miserable.[/quote]

But he is not present. He sleeps in, works out and golfs. It would be one thing if he was helping with the kids and the house but he is not. Also, why have kids if you're not going to raise them? [b]Simply going to work and earning the money doesn't cut it. Everyone does that.[/b][/quote]

Are you OP? The man OP wanted wasn't a dad. She wanted drive, motivation, and high income. Those jobs are incompatible with doing much more than simply going to work and earning the money. OP herself took a cut to what she was earning so that she could have a job that enabled her to do the childcare. So no, not "everyone does that." OP didn't. She didn't do that because she liked taking care of the kids, and now, when she's asked to do what he did for 15 years, it's unreasonable. It's telling that she can't bear the thought of taking on exactly the kind of life that she demands of him.[/quote]

I'm not (wasn't OP) but are you incapable of reading? He wasn't like this when they married and had children. He was working hard and earning a high income. And I'm assuming OP was willing and happy for her career to stagnate because he was doing what needed to be done. He is no longer doing that. If he is sleeping in, staying up late, working out and playing golf, he has plenty of time to take on my household responsibilities. He just chooses to prioritize his comfort. And not that the kids are grown he wants to do all that and have her work more. GTFOH.[/quote]

I’m a middle age women who is the breadwinner. I absolutely prioritize my comfort these days.[/quote]

OK but do you have your husband pick up your slack?

I'm a single mom (always had custody 100% of the time) and don't have the luxury of simply doing less because I feel like it. Must be nice.[/quote]

Yes, my husband will pick up the slack. That comes with being the person whose job is more flexible.

Yes it is nice to cut yourself slack. I encourage everyone do so and stop acting like a martyr. [/quote]

Stop acting like a martyr? Stop acting like a selfish ass! [/quote]

You mean be nicer to the passive aggressive poster spending her allegedly nonexistent time on DCUM? Yeah, ok.  Hint, anyone who responds “must be nice” is actually the selfish ass.[/quote]

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