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[quote=Anonymous]RN here again.  What I'm going to suggest may not work depending on how alert she is.  And you also may not take it well because it sounds "harsher" than I mean it over text.

If she's able to , she needs to have this discussion with her providers without you there.  Have the SW be part of it.  It's not uncommon for the person who is I'll to feel "pressure" to choose things for their family's sake vs what they really want to do.  I'm not saying you're pressuring , its just their own feelings.   I've had many patients throughout my career tell me their wishes are different once their family has left the room.  They just didn't want to tell them that they were actually ready to pass because they knew their family wanted them to stay alive, but they didn't want to live like this.

Also, if she's still in the ICU that means most of this is pretty new and you're still in the shock stages of what happened.  You and she and the rest of your family don't have to make any decisions right now. Let yourselves process what is going on.  Gather as much info.as you can.

The only thing I will say is make sure you know what she wants should something happen.  Does she want to be intubated?  Does she want to be kept alive no matter what?   Is there a time frame where if she's not responsive anymore that she doesn't want to be kept alive?  If she has another stroke that will leave her immobile does she want to be kept alive ?  What about non verbal?   These are things I encourage EVERYONE to discuss with their loved ones, no matter their age or health.  [/quote]

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