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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I recently saw a friend who moved to the UK some years ago, and we discussed cultural differences. She said one thing that sticks out to her is Brits will complain about things or express dissatisfaction with something, but do nothing about it. Americans do see everything as a problem to be solved. [/quote]

I think this is a cultural difference but disagree with your description because I think British people also solve problems all the time. It's not like British people are just falling apart unable to function -- they are as functional as Americans are on average. And there are plenty of Americans who struggle to solve problems in their own lives.

The distinction is about how people approach social interactions. I just think Americans will sometimes bring an almost professional problem-solving approach to social interactions whereas Brits (and people in many cultures) consider this rude and impersonal. Like I have no problem being a problem solver at work or at home but if I'm just chatting with someone outside the school or bump into a mom friend at the grocery store I don't have that mindset and we can complain or commiserate and it doesn't have to be results-oriented. Especially because a lot of the stuff we might commiserate on is not really a problem to be solved. A lot of parenting is just necessary drudgery and you can't fix that -- it's part of the deal.

I think many Americans refuse to accept this though -- the idea that some aspects of life just kind of suck and you have to put up with them or muddle through and there are no "hacks" or short cuts.

Also it seems like many American parents actually make parenting *harder* with all their "problem-solving." Often they invent problems that weren't there or impose impossible parameters on aspects of parenting that were a little hard but manageable. Like I actually think it's more productive to just complain a bit about how kids can sometimes be picky eaters and that's annoying and then move on. Like I'll say "ugh my kid asked for mac and cheese for dinner and then I made it and they wouldn't eat it so irritating" and the response will be "oh what you really need to do is be serving her more lentils -- did you know the nutritional content of mac and cheese is basically nil why don't you make all your bread products from scratch."  Like that's not actually helpful.[/quote]

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