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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is awful. Two thoughts:

1) if this was going to happen, glad it happened now before she had more access, info, pictures, etc. You would feel worse if she crossed this boundary a year from now. Now you can still make a clean break.

2) you have a wonderful new child with whom you can establish a loving and protective relationship. Remember that your daughter is safe and your focus should be on your well being so you can be a good mom.

Lastly, please don’t guilt yourself if your joy is overshadowed right now. You have your whole life to enjoy your child. Many, many people have a crappy postpartum experience for some reason or another, and it does not define you.[/quote]

Thank you so much for this. I'm really holding on to #1 right now. You're right the timing hurts but if this had happened a year from now or later and DD would have known her in some capacity and then I had to cut her off it would be harder and she would have then had photos and info she wouldn't hesitate sharing. And I'm hung up on the photos. The thought that my brother saw me in a sexual way at that age I just can't stomach him knowing what she looks like at any stage.

This baby is an absolute joy and I'm being very careful of when I can let myself think about this. I don't want it to overshadow this time with her. I think that's what hurt so much is that instead of just thinking about this baby my mother made this scenario where I'm in the hospital now crying yet again over her disappointing me and that felt so unfair in the moment. The following texts about how I have to understand her right as a grandparent....I was seeing red but also holding this tiny human we waited so long for and feeling like I had let her down. I know logically I haven't. And I'll continue to work on it [/quote]

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